A Dream in the Waking World…
“Don’t you think a dream would feel shy if she were found walking around in the waking world.”(C.S.Lewis~Till We Have Faces)
I finished this book a few months ago. It’s my daughter, Stephanie’s favorite book. To me, it was a bit like attempting to swallow the ocean. C. S. Lewis was nothing if he wasn’t deeeep.
But this line resonated with me. I wrote it down and have been toying around with it for weeks on end. What about it rings true?
It’s sometimes how I feel. A bit out of my element even in the most routine of days. Sometimes after staying inside myself, inside my thoughts, traveling in the pages of a beloved book or writing my own pages; when I venture out into someone else’s world, I feel a little shy. Like I’m displaced.
I love the person who feels at home anywhere in the great big world. I like to watch those people from the sidelines. Watch how they relate with ease, work a crowd, and go from one stage in life to another without even a hiccup. I love those people but I’m not one of them.
When I was in my twenty’s I tried to be one of those people. They were after all the achievers. The leaders. I wanted to be those things and I so despised my own tendencies. I always felt like the “dream…found walking around in the walking world.”
I spent half of my thirty’s tiptoeing around in the “waking world”, not quite fitting in. Finally, as I was pushing forty I relaxed into my own person. The one God created. I stopped feeling like I was less-than because I wasn’t like other women. I began to see myself through His eyes and actually kinda liked what I saw.
Now, I love and appreciate other women and their strengths. I find myself praying, “Wow God, you did such a great thing when you gave (her) (this or that) strength!” Rejoicing when I see someone with an attribute I admire. Rejoicing, not trying to make it my own.
I’m a slow learner. I was just wondering this morning where you are on this journey? Do you sometimes feel like a dream found walking around in the waking world? Like you aren’t content with the person God made you to be? Or are you relaxed and comfortable in the skin you’re in!?
My prayer today is for all of us to embrace who we are and allow God to use us as He sees fit~ Love to you~
Robin Rane's Weblog 
I love your blog because you are so real. What a great post. It pretty much echoes me……we sound alot alike in this area.
I am in my late 30’s and starting to feel at home in my own skin more than ever but still struggle with completely embracing the real me as Jesus sees me.
Many blessings to you and have a wonderful week!
By: JanMarie on April 28, 2009
at 12:29 am
JanMarie~so glad you’re feeling more at home in the skin God gave you. It’s liberating to realize that God made you, loves you and can use you just the way you are…Hugs~
Bill~Oh so happy to see you here this morning!!! I love being around people who are naturally outgoing! I would have guessed you were that way 🙂 Thanks so much for stopping by 🙂
Ruthie~Keep smiling at yourself in the mirror…you’re awesome~
By: Robin on April 28, 2009
at 5:52 am
Robin: I can relate to this post (so I can comment). I don’t do well with the crafty ones. 🙂 Anyway, I appreciate your honesty. I suspect all of us would have to admit to some of these same feelings. Being a naturally outgoing person, I tended to cover up my insecurities by laughing and making people laugh. I tried real hard to preach like others. Only when I realized I am who I am (who God made) was I finally able to relax and not worry about impressing people. I too took a long journey to get there. Thanks again for this post.
By: bill (cycleguy) on April 28, 2009
at 2:52 am
First, I love who you are. I need you to be you so I can be me. I think you are amazing and like you.
Second, after 47 years I am truly starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. I am not sure when it happened, but one day recently, I smiled at myself in the mirror. I was excited to start the day as me.
By: Ruthie on April 28, 2009
at 4:44 am
Tuesdays are my favorite days to read your posts. Like Cycleguy, I don’t do so well with the crafty ones. Well, I probably could, I guess, but that’s one of those little things in life I somehow skipped right over. (But I love the cooking ones!!)
What began to set me free to be me is starting to write–and that didn’t happen until after turning 40.
I get all happy for people when I see what God’s doing through them. And now I’m seeing He’s busy inside me too. It’s a beautiful thing. 🙂
By: Julie Garmon on April 28, 2009
at 6:02 am
Jewles He is doing TONS in you and I appreciate how you always encourage me. You truly have a heart that wants others to succeed. love love love
By: Robin on April 28, 2009
at 9:58 am
today’s post struck a chord with me, as i feel as though i’ve been unsettled within myself for the past 5 years. it began when, by God’s clear direction, we walked away from a church we’d helped start, and continued as i found myself with more and more alone time as i had busy friends and no ministry to pour myself into.
as an extrovert, i don’t do well with alone time, but in the last 5 years, i’ve tried to relax into it without much success. we moved here in ’06, and i felt like the striving ratcheted up a few notches as i worked to make all things work.
it wasn’t until the past few weeks that i have begun to feel i have a fingernail’s grasp on what God has been up to in all this: i’m not supposed to be striving so hard. i’m supposed to relax and let Him do the work in me He intends to do. it’s not my job to figure out what it is and do it!
so, the long answer is, yes, i feel like a dream walking around in the real world these days. shyer than i’ve ever been, but perhaps more real than before. all i know is that i want to be free to experience the love God has for me, so i continue walking toward the light.
thanks for being real, robin.
By: jenn on April 28, 2009
at 7:14 am
Jenn~I’m so drawn to those with a personality like yours. I crave alone time but I can imagine how difficult it must be for you to find yourself alone so often. I’m humbled to read that you so desire to pour yourself into ministry~I suspect God’s lifted you out of service to renew you and it’s just a matter of time before He’s put you back into ministry…and I also suspect He’s been using you all along in small quiet ways…Love to you and prayers~
By: Robin on April 28, 2009
at 10:02 am
I’m praying that with you(:
By: Lisa on April 28, 2009
at 7:48 am
I’ve heard that “Till We Have Faces” is a very weighty read. Kudos for tackling it, Robin!
You’ve given me food for thought. I can tell you I definitely feel like I am hitting my stride in my early 40’s. Much more comfortable in my own skin.
I have to agree with Julie too, writing again is truly giving me a piece of myself I’ve been missing for awhile. I’m hoping the rest of the revelation or the waking if you will is within my grasp. Thanks for such a thought provoking post!
Hugs to you!
By: Vicky on April 28, 2009
at 8:21 am
Vicky, I for one am thrilled that you are writing again. Please keep it up~
By: Robin on April 28, 2009
at 9:57 am
I love reading your posts…..I always leave uplifted, challenged, inspired. You express your thoughts very well and ….I have a little envy over how talented you are with crafts. Don’t get me wrong, I totally know that is not my gift but appreciate that talent in others. I gave you a shout out on my blog today on your Living your Legacy. Thanks for your inspiration. Blessings, SusanD
By: SusanD on April 28, 2009
at 11:23 am
SusanD! Thank you girl! You have just given me a boost in my day! I make crafts for one reason…I love to give little things and don’t always have the money! (Same with decorating on a shoe-string!!!) But I don’t consider myself talented at all 🙂 It’s a means to an end!!!
Thank you for the shout out about the Legacy series…I think God must have impressed so many people with that desire. love to you today~
By: Robin on April 28, 2009
at 11:31 am
Okay, so I am just now reading this because I knew it was something I would need to give thought too. I love how you can now appreciate and pray a prayer of gratitude for the qualities in others. I must say, I need to work on that. I sometimes find myself feeling a tad bit jealous wondering why they are such and such and I am not. I like your change of perspective and will be working on that. Thank you – once again, you are amazing!
By: Vanessa on May 7, 2009
at 2:49 pm