A Dream in the Waking World…
“Don’t you think a dream would feel shy if she were found walking around in the waking world.”(C.S.Lewis~Till We Have Faces)
I finished this book a few months ago. It’s my daughter, Stephanie’s favorite book. To me, it was a bit like attempting to swallow the ocean. C. S. Lewis was nothing if he wasn’t deeeep.
But this line resonated with me. I wrote it down and have been toying around with it for weeks on end. What about it rings true?
It’s sometimes how I feel. A bit out of my element even in the most routine of days. Sometimes after staying inside myself, inside my thoughts, traveling in the pages of a beloved book or writing my own pages; when I venture out into someone else’s world, I feel a little shy. Like I’m displaced.
I love the person who feels at home anywhere in the great big world. I like to watch those people from the sidelines. Watch how they relate with ease, work a crowd, and go from one stage in life to another without even a hiccup. I love those people but I’m not one of them.
When I was in my twenty’s I tried to be one of those people. They were after all the achievers. The leaders. I wanted to be those things and I so despised my own tendencies. I always felt like the “dream…found walking around in the walking world.”
I spent half of my thirty’s tiptoeing around in the “waking world”, not quite fitting in. Finally, as I was pushing forty I relaxed into my own person. The one God created. I stopped feeling like I was less-than because I wasn’t like other women. I began to see myself through His eyes and actually kinda liked what I saw.
Now, I love and appreciate other women and their strengths. I find myself praying, “Wow God, you did such a great thing when you gave (her) (this or that) strength!” Rejoicing when I see someone with an attribute I admire. Rejoicing, not trying to make it my own.
I’m a slow learner. I was just wondering this morning where you are on this journey? Do you sometimes feel like a dream found walking around in the waking world? Like you aren’t content with the person God made you to be? Or are you relaxed and comfortable in the skin you’re in!?
My prayer today is for all of us to embrace who we are and allow God to use us as He sees fit~ Love to you~