Posted by: Robin~AllThingsHeartandHome | February 19, 2009

Living My Legacy ~ 3~Being Best Friends with My Husband

 Me and The Husband~Best Friends

This is the third post in Living My Legacy… If you want to see how this little series was hatched look back at How A Trip To The Grocery Store Changed My Life.  I call it living my legacy because I believe that’s what we are all doing whether we know it or not. The first post was: My Tongue & my Tone. The second was Time with God. This one is: Me and The Husband…Best Friends.


Here we are a hundred years ago on a dinner cruise down the Seine~Go ahead laugh…but big hair was soooo in.


When The Husband and I got married, he inherited an instant family. Three little ones, ages four and under! We had our work cut out for us from the moment we said “I do”.  Not to mention that only three months after the wedding I somehow got pregnant with Emma! (I love to say it…The Husband went from zero to four kids in twelve months!)  So we lived with intention when it came to our marriage. Here are some of the things I believe help us to be best friends…

*Date nights …these have always been a top priority.  I can honestly say come hell or high water, we have date nights every week. When money was low, we put the little ones to bed on time and we made dinner together. I would set a pretty table, make a special dessert, light candles and put on music.  Some weeks, I lived for those date nights.  Things weren’t always kicks and giggles in our marriage but strangely, even in the rough times we’d keep the date nights!

*Common goals…big goals, small goals, short term or long term…whatever! Just as long as they are shared goals. I think we’ve done upward of a million house projects over the years!  I think them up and The Husband figures out how we can do them. I remember pouring out my heart to my friend Beth about some problem we were having and she said, “You two need another house project, something you can work on together.”  Common goals help The Husband and I remember that we’re on the same team.(As Bethany’s fiance’ Darren says, “Same team (Bethany), we’re in it to win it!”)

 *Sharing (some of) the same hobbies…The Husband and I have had lots of different shared hobbies.  (We have seperate ones too.) For a couple of years we ran half marathons. Every Saturday we’d go somewhere fun to do a long run. We enjoyed searching out new places every week and loved running together. When the cartilage in my knee went AWOL we stopped running and started weight lifting.  Our bud Ruthie was our trainer and we worked out several mornings a week at 5:00.  We read books and learned a lot about lifting weights and still go to the gym together several times a week.

In January we got a new camera for our 23rd wedding anniversary and we’re taking photography classes. We’re looking forward to planning day trips to interesting places where we can practice our mad photography skills!


Our marriage is far from perfect but those are a few of the things that I believe have helped us stay best friends.  It’s been good for us but it’s also had an impact on our kids.  In the past five years each of my three girls said they want a marriage like mine. So living my legacy with intention in my marriage has influenced my children, hopefully in some positive ways.

Today and every day, I pray I’ll live my legacy with focus and intention.  Any thoughts on being BFF with your Significant Other?



  1. I love love love this. I think the point is that you think about it, consider it… put it above all else. I know so many people who go through the craziness of their every day lives and get frustrated that they’re not connecting, but also can’t find the time to put into it what they want out of it. In the end, you both are putting in the time and that shows your love abundantly.

    I know that a relationship isn’t something that will happen in my life … it’s simply not possible… but if it was I would hope I would go about it with the intention the two of you have.

  2. Good thoughts Robin. If more care was taken (as you all have) less break ups would occur. I wish you both many more years together. Oh yeah…love the hair! 🙂

  3. Great post!

    I think for my husband and I the common goals have gotten us through a lot. We tend to drift into our own little worlds unless we are planning intentionally for the future. Even if it is a small project together. Being forward looking, together, is a good thing.

  4. LOVE THIS. I’ve learned a lot about what matters in marriage from you. When you share something so special, others notice and want to create it for themselves.

    Wish we’d go back to the big hair days. I had it going on!

  5. I can almost smell the Aussie Scrunch Spray from across the computer screen!

    I like your intentional marriage. I’m doing the Love Dare on my husband. He hasn’t noticed yet, but I’m sure he will any day now :). If you haven’t read it, it’s all about intention, choice, and working to become the kind of spouse your spouse needs.

    Good stuff. Thanks for sharing.

  6. Thank you Robin. The Lord is trying to teach me this huge lesson about intentionality. It is hard though. Especially b/c life with little ones means constant interuptions. So finding the balance between being flexible re: interuptions but still following through with intention…interesting little dance. I WILL create an at home date night THIS weekend. The Lord has placed some interesting things on our plate this week and we need time to debrief and that will not happen unless I make it happen:) Thanks for the reminders:) Ask me about it next week…. so I will do it. Love..E

  7. Robin, did some of this evolve over time or did you and Mike have this in place since day 1? This would serve anyone well to start with this in mind. I look at my own 11-year-old marriage and think of how much we evolved into a more functional state. But it certainly does take a fair amount of work.

    I think your children are paying you the highest compliment in wanting what you have worked so hard to achieve! Thanks for sharing!

    You are rockin’ the big hair! I too have a certain fondness for it 🙂

  8. Vicky, I think we did this right off the bat out of self defense. We married with 3 little ones and never had time to ourselves like most couples. But maybe it was a blessing in disguise…and the flip side is now we’re empty nesters with lots of time alone together…if you don’t count the 4 pups!

    Erika…it does take work. But it’s worth it so keep it up!

    Celesta, we’ve got the Love Dare but haven’t started it’s on the list 🙂 I bet he hasn’t noticed because you’re so naturally sweet…

    Gitz…smooch~(and I bet your hair would be big if you let it!?!?!)

  9. What wonderful advice! You are blessed to have such a special relationship with your hubby!
    -sandy toe

  10. this is a great post full of wisdom!!

  11. Love the pic!

    You guys are an inspiration. Love the way you love each other!

  12. […] We truly are best friends…I wrote a post about that here so I won’t have to go over that again.  But the fact that we share some (if not most) of the […]

  13. Love the date night idea. We don’t always have the money to go “out” but having a date night “in” seems like a simple solution!! Thanks, again!!

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