After my post last week on the Grocery store trip that changed my life, Erica said this: “…could you continue this post with a series please of how you have made this part of your life? How do (I) do this especially as a mom to little ones?”
It’s more like this, how do I continually live the legacy I want to leave? If I don’t live my legacy with intention, I’m still going to leave a legacy, just not one I want to leave.
I went back and looked at my journals and writings from 13 years ago. I’ll tell you that a tendency towards the negative and being a pretty uptight person, I took three steps forward and two steps back. I noticed in my writings the biggest and the first area of change for me was my mouth! Here is a bit of an affirmation I wrote for a church newsletter around that time…
The air seemed thick enough to cut. Weighty and suffocating, the tension permeated a perfect early Saturday morning. Mike and I were spending time together. We needed to catch up. Time to relax and enjoy one another away from the kids. Time to talk. But talking was where this problem started.
He was wrong. I was positive. I tried unsuccessfully to hide the emotion behind my first reaction, but in a matter of moments I erupted in a self righteous tirade. Things went downhill from there. Another beautiful opportunity for closeness thrown carelessly away.
The next week as I was having my devotions, I read the story of Jesus’ arrest in the book of Matthew. Unsuspecting, I read this: “…one of Jesus companions reached for his sword drew it out and struck the servant…” It was one of those moments when the words came into such focus that I knew God wanted to say something to me. “…put your sword back in its place, Jesus said.”
My mind flashed back to the Saturday before when I reached for my sword with Mike. Wounding him with my sharp tone and biting words.
This is the first thing God worked on with me. I remember asking Him to prick my heart every time I spoke with a harsh tone or used negative words. That’s one prayer He continues to answer to this day. I also sat Mike down and told him I was struggling in this area. (He wasn’t surprised!) I asked for his forgiveness and asked him to please remind me when I slipped. He still gently (and not so gently) reminds me when I fall into this old pattern. Thankfully he doesn’t have to do that as much anymore.
Probably most of you reading this don’t need it! But when I started living my legacy the first thing to go was the harsh tone and the negative verbiage.
Please note; I’m still quick on the draw with some super sarcasm but not in a mean way. I need to tell you that because God didn’t ask me to become completely quiet and docile for the love of Pete. I’m still me. He just tempered me a bit. Love to you as you live your legacy today!