Posted by: Robin~AllThingsHeartandHome | December 8, 2008

The Crying Seasons…

 Here we are, pretty well into the Christmas season. How are you feeling? The reason I ask is that for me, the season itself, seems to magnify and intensify wherever I am emotionally.

I have, of late, been focused on joy. It’s been a couple of years since joy washed over me like this, so I am relishing and appreciating joy. But it’s not lost on me how many people are hurting this Christmas season. I believe that all seasons of our lives are sacred and have purpose. Even ones where we are grieving. Or hopeless. Or angry. Or sad.

I remember one such season for me. I was a young mom of two toddlers and a newborn. My husband of six years told me he wanted a divorce. For six weeks after that initial blow, I moved in with my parents and it happened to be smack in the middle of the holiday season. That was a bleak time for this girl with no college education and no skills beyond home. I was mourning the death of my marriage and terrified of the future.

What I remember most were the nights I got no sleep. I’d wake up with a dark heavy dread pressing in on me. My 3 week old baby, Timothy, usually needed feeding a couple of times throughout the night, so I’d go sit in Mom and Dad’s living room and wrap sweet Timothy and I in a blanket. The soft glow from the Christmas tree was the only light in the room. Timothy would nurse and then fall back asleep in my arms. I would cry. Just softly cry and whisper to God all the ways I was hurting.   

It wasn’t a joy filled season. It was a crying season.

Unfortunately, there have been many other crying seasons throughout the years. Not like that one. But there were several seasons when I was consumed with grief over the loss of a loved one. One season when anger consumed me. So sadly, there was one season when addiction beat me to a bloody pulp.

Some Christmas seasons are just going to be crying seasons. I ache inside knowing it’s true for some of you. I’m so sorry. If that’s where you are, for the love of all that’s Holy, …cry.

Sit in the tub and cry.

Walk around the mall and cry.

Stay up all night and cry.

Walk the dog around the neighborhood in the dark and cry.

Or my personal favorite, go out by yourself in your car and scream until your throat is sore and cry. (Don’t drink and drive, wear your seat belt, bring a box of tissue, don’t speed and go to unsafe places. I’m not being flip, I could not go on until I said that.) 

Point being, do what you need to do. Your life, your seasons, come as no surprise to the One who made you.

Be gentle with your precious self. Give yourself permission to have a breakdown if you need one. And then, give yourself permission to have a break.

Breathe.

I’m so praying for each and every person who is reading this and is hurting on any level.

And if that’s not you. If joy is giving you tickles, well, good! Go with that. But don’t forget to stop and say a prayer when you see or hear of someone who is missing joy this year. Give a call or send a card. Say a kind word, or just give that  person who cuts you off in traffic or the sales clerk who is grumpy a little slack. Never know, they may be having their own crying season.

And what the heck, while you’re at it…give someone a hug. (I’m Southern. We hug. We hug a lot.) Today, wherever you are, I’m sending you prayers and hugs, air hugs if you’re like my Stephie and don’t like your personal space invaded~ love love love~

 

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Responses

  1. My throat is thick with emotion. Your writing seems to come straight from the heart of God. So like Him. Real. Reaching out to others. Merciful. Hopeful. Compassionate. Never judging. Humble. Aware of those around you.

    I checked your blog (7:30 a.m.) not sure you’d have something new up. You blew me away, as usual.

    I love you,

    Julie

  2. This is a good “heartpost” Robin. Well done! As a pastor, I see this all the time. After my mom went to be with Jesus I didn’t cry at holidays but the loss was felt. I did struggle however doing her funeral. Good post m’lady.

  3. Lots and lots of huges being sent your way!

  4. Seriously, I cannot spell today!

    HUGS, HUGS and more HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Robin, I value your insight so much. And then Julie’s words on top of yours, PERFECTION. Thanks for the gentlest of reminders that whatever season your heart is in, its okay to sit with it until it passes.

    Love and Blessings!

    BTW, wow is it ever snowing, and we are supposed to get 3 different snow systems this week. Yep, I’ll post pictures, but right now I gotta go shovel!

  6. Oh, I’m so lucky to know you. You get that, right? How lucky we all are? Thanks for this today. And what you give to us everyday.

    hugs, hugs, hugs to you… (not the air ones… I don’t have personal space issues).

  7. I like hugs.

  8. Today at school, I ran into a former student’s mother. I asked how she was doing in passing, and she replied that she was “good.” She returned the question, and my response was that I was “doing fine.” She mentioned that everyone seems to be only “fine”. Just as I was about to respond with a cliche about how stressful the holidays can be, it hit me that this woman’s husband had unexpectedly been found dead only 2 months ago. I am much more than fine. I am SO blessed. I know that there will be seasons when I have good reason to be just plain fine, but for now I am great. I have been praying for that woman all afternoon. Thanks for reinforcing the lesson that God had for me today. I love you…. and I really do like hugs…just not really long ones.

  9. thanks for the encouragement during this time. I am finding joy each day. It is by far the lowest Christmas season for me, but we are counting our blessings and finding joy!

  10. Your heart is beautiful (and so is your writing 🙂 Thank you so much…

  11. Slam dunk. Thanks for your sensitivity. Love you, Ruthie


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