Posted by: Robin~AllThingsHeartandHome | September 26, 2008

I miss my mom…

I’m in the middle of a good cry this morning.  I miss my mom.  I miss her everyday, but on certain days I feel the ache more deeply.  Today is one of those days.   Today is a happy day.  Can I briefly share why?

 

Stephie & Mom~Cracking up!

My daughter Stephanie and her husband Jon are closing on an adorable new house at ten o’clock this morning!  They are pregnant with our first grandchild, due in April. They will be living a little closer to me, I have promised not to take advantage of that but I’m thrilled none-the-less. Stephie and I have been packing up their apartment and picking out paint colors and talking about curtains and the baby’s room.  This is an important day for them.  I so wish I could share it with my mom.  Oh would she be over the moon.

And here’s HUGE news… I got this call at 1:00 in the morning.  I’m puppy-sitting for baby Sadie (My daughter, Bethany and her boyfriend, Darren bought a Yorkie-poo).  Sadie and I had just gotten to sleep when the phone rang. I panic when the phone rings in the middle of the night, don’t you?  It was Bethany, she’s in California at a conference for work. 

“Is something wrong?” I ask before I’m even awake. 

“Not wrong” she let’s out a little laugh. ” But Darren is standing here.  He flew out today to surprise me and propose!”

“He was supposed to be golfing today and going to dinner tonight with clients” , why was that my first response?  Because, I wasn’t told about this, that’s why! I look over at Mike who is grining from ear to ear. “Mike, did you know about this?” I’m awake now.  And I have questions!

 

Bethany & Mom

Turns out, Darren asked Mike and Brad, Bethany’s other dad, for their blessing 2 weeks ago.  They decided to keep it from me in order to insure a surprise for Bethany.  My girls and I have this issue…we can read each others minds.  It’s true.  (I don’t have that issue with my one and only boy…Timothy, I try to read his mind, but in the end, I just dote over him and believe whatever he tells me!) Anyhoo, Darren flew to California and was waiting for the concierge to bring Bethany down to a veranda where he dropped to his knee and asked her to marry him.  (There was a photographer who caught the moment , so I’ll get to see it!) She was completely surprised and giddy when she called me. (I’ll say one thing for Darren, he knows my daughter.  This was the perfect proposal.)  Bethany and I talked for awhile and she sent me a text message with a picture of the ring.  And then I turned on the lamp and made Mike wake up and tell me everything he knew.  I didn’t sleep much after that.  I was just overflowing with happiness for my little girl. But there was something else too…

This morning, Sadie nibbled on my ear at 5:45. I opened my eyes to see all the little white dogs standing around Sadie watching her nibble my ear.  I got up feeling this mixture of excitement and, what’s this…sadness.  Tears rolled down cheeks while I was making coffee.  ‘What the heck is going on’.  I thought about calling my dad and my sister.  They would be so happy for Bethany.  (They already knew about Steph and Jon’s house) But I couldn’t stop crying long enough to make the calls.

Now, after two cups of  coffee, some time reading my Bible and a little talk with Father God, I know the source.  It’s that  I so long to share these special times with Mom.  I believe she knows.  I believe that somehow, over time and space, she’s aware of everything that goes on with us.  She’s connected and this comforts me most days but today, I miss her presence.  Her voice.  Her excitement.  Her hysterical laugh.  Today…I miss my mom. 

Today is a good day and I want to share it with her…

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Responses

  1. I am with you, I think she knows and is delighted for you and your girls. Heaven would not be heaven if you could not enjoy seeing what is going on with those you love. I know she is smiling and will enjoy it all day long! Love you

  2. Oh, Rob. She knows! She knows! And where did you find these adorable pics of your mom? I’ve never seen them. I think these are the best pictures I’ve ever seen of her. Total Joy–as I bet she’s feeling right about now.

    I was thinking about her Big Time this past weekend (that shower thing I e-mailed you about). Little did I know you’d be welcoming a new son-in-law and Steph would be getting a new house! Maybe that’s why I had Betty Jean so on my heart.

    Hugs,

    Jewels

  3. Who could have even imagined in January of 2008 such amazing things would be happening in the life of our family! Who would have known in January of 2005 it would be the last year we would have the priviledge to share our lives with our mom. I do believe she knows and is full of joy about the events of our lives, but although there is tremendous satisfaction in that knowledge, there is also the longing of wanting to go to the phone and tell her. To hear her voice, see her smile and feel her arms around us is something that can’t be experienced ever again. I know that is somewhat fun to tell Dad and I things, but there’s just something about telling mom anything! It was always important and you knew no matter “what” she wanted to hear all about it! She always made you feel better about the hard stuff and she always rejoiced (as only she could do) with us in the good stuff. Sometimes she would call me and tell me she had cried about David all morning and she would say “I just really miss him today”. So when we have times like that when we really miss her so much that we fill an entire morning with our tears. I would say it’s ok, that just makes us more like her. Cause if she did it, then it must be alright. You’re not alone in this!
    I love you ~ forever!
    Deb

  4. Great post, Deb. Something about calling your mom with the little and big things.

    Love y’all,

    Julie

  5. Robin, I am sitting here at 4:00 in the afternoon reading your blogs… and crying my eyes out.. You are like my son, he writes so beautifully.. I have a hard time putting my feelings into words. this post is wonderful and I know that feeling when “you just miss them”, you don’t know why or why more than yesterday, just more,.
    When we are in the mountains and I am enjoying the view, I always think of Brad and how much he would have loved the cabin, hiking with us or just sitting around watching football.

    I am so happy for you and your sister and I know you will both spread your moms love, giving spirit and kindness to your new sons-in-laws and your new grandbaby. Your family is blessed to have you.


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