I’m in the middle of a good cry this morning. I miss my mom. I miss her everyday, but on certain days I feel the ache more deeply. Today is one of those days. Today is a happy day. Can I briefly share why?
My daughter Stephanie and her husband Jon are closing on an adorable new house at ten o’clock this morning! They are pregnant with our first grandchild, due in April. They will be living a little closer to me, I have promised not to take advantage of that but I’m thrilled none-the-less. Stephie and I have been packing up their apartment and picking out paint colors and talking about curtains and the baby’s room. This is an important day for them. I so wish I could share it with my mom. Oh would she be over the moon.
And here’s HUGE news… I got this call at 1:00 in the morning. I’m puppy-sitting for baby Sadie (My daughter, Bethany and her boyfriend, Darren bought a Yorkie-poo). Sadie and I had just gotten to sleep when the phone rang. I panic when the phone rings in the middle of the night, don’t you? It was Bethany, she’s in California at a conference for work.
“Is something wrong?” I ask before I’m even awake.
“Not wrong” she let’s out a little laugh. ” But Darren is standing here. He flew out today to surprise me and propose!”
“He was supposed to be golfing today and going to dinner tonight with clients” , why was that my first response? Because, I wasn’t told about this, that’s why! I look over at Mike who is grining from ear to ear. “Mike, did you know about this?” I’m awake now. And I have questions!
Turns out, Darren asked Mike and Brad, Bethany’s other dad, for their blessing 2 weeks ago. They decided to keep it from me in order to insure a surprise for Bethany. My girls and I have this issue…we can read each others minds. It’s true. (I don’t have that issue with my one and only boy…Timothy, I try to read his mind, but in the end, I just dote over him and believe whatever he tells me!) Anyhoo, Darren flew to California and was waiting for the concierge to bring Bethany down to a veranda where he dropped to his knee and asked her to marry him. (There was a photographer who caught the moment , so I’ll get to see it!) She was completely surprised and giddy when she called me. (I’ll say one thing for Darren, he knows my daughter. This was the perfect proposal.) Bethany and I talked for awhile and she sent me a text message with a picture of the ring. And then I turned on the lamp and made Mike wake up and tell me everything he knew. I didn’t sleep much after that. I was just overflowing with happiness for my little girl. But there was something else too…
This morning, Sadie nibbled on my ear at 5:45. I opened my eyes to see all the little white dogs standing around Sadie watching her nibble my ear. I got up feeling this mixture of excitement and, what’s this…sadness. Tears rolled down cheeks while I was making coffee. ‘What the heck is going on’. I thought about calling my dad and my sister. They would be so happy for Bethany. (They already knew about Steph and Jon’s house) But I couldn’t stop crying long enough to make the calls.
Now, after two cups of coffee, some time reading my Bible and a little talk with Father God, I know the source. It’s that I so long to share these special times with Mom. I believe she knows. I believe that somehow, over time and space, she’s aware of everything that goes on with us. She’s connected and this comforts me most days but today, I miss her presence. Her voice. Her excitement. Her hysterical laugh. Today…I miss my mom.